The Existential Angst

Poem 1 Jan. 2010-01-31

THE EXISTENTIAL ANGST

The rub between living and meaning

A fight made up by me.

My cat doesn’t stress like this.

So why do I?

The friction between the day and the life,

Seeking for something more,

But, nothing more do I find

But another day closer-

 To worms meat.

Searching for meaning in this crazy world

Wanting something that doesn’t exist.

Meaning can be mean, said the lady of thought

Until you turn that meaning back to the moment,

And see,

The bliss of here and now.

Another challenge to be able to do.

Knowing that that’s all there is

Creates, the rub

Between living and meaning- The angst of existence.

My Life in the Shade

My Life in the Shade

The light and the shade

Is the essential paradox

Two is always the nature

Of love and conflict

Two is always the flavour

Of yuck and mmm.

Every age, for the single human

And the single era

Probably the single eon,

There appears to be an

Antagonism.

It’s me and you and you and me

It’s all the things that we can be

But aren’t

And I hope that before I die

I experience its opposite

The unnamed

The one.

Tom- March 5, 2010.

I Don't Want to Die on a Day Like This

I know what it means to die now

Thinking abstractly does not do it.

With only my words sitting in my yard, I begin to cry.

The May day of bloom and sun and beautiful daughter's,

And through my sun glassed sun drenched teary eyes

I see blue heavens sparkling through maples

And buds so young and green,

Witnessing life growing.

Birdsong is beautiful; but not like this.

Thinking about my time so imminent

I know what I see of my canoe and my daughter-

She's spraying and playing and tending the garden-

Is but a moment of forgotten time.

As I realize this, my heart aches to know I will lose this;

This moment- the ache of knowing what I will miss-

I don't want to die on a day like this.